Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Time is passing.. slowly

I haven't been blogging as much I wanted to. Mostly because I don't think anyone reads it, so I don't have very much motivation to write. That, and I have a very boring life!

We finally past the first month of this deployment! Only 5 more to go.. I am hoping that time will start to pick up once I get busy. After we get back from Florida we will be right around the halfway mark, which is very exciting!

I got a job at a local casino here in Oklahoma, but decided that I wasn't cut out to be a cocktail waitress. I didn't like the atmosphere. I did make about $30 from it haha.

We are planning a trip to Florida at the end of May for Jeff's wedding. I'm so excited to finally be with all my family at once. I just wish Chris could be there with us. I can't find a dress for the wedding and it's killing me! I have been looking everywhere! Hopefully I'll find something soon.

Well, I'm off to go buy some things for a package I am putting together for Chris! :)
He watches the sunrise as I watch the sunset. He says good morning as I say good night. He suits up for duty as I dress down for bed. All those things are so different, but one thing remains the same.. our love  
(My favorite quote I've read so far.. It's so true)

Friday, April 15, 2011

Stages of Deployment.

I found a website called deardeploymentihateyou.com .. There are artices or blogs whatever you want to call them, about dealing with deployment. They all relate to me in some way or another, but this one was almost dead on. It's pretty long, but if you have the chance to read it, go for it!

Stages of Deployment

The beginning will suck. There's no getting around it.

You'll say goodbye and be torn in two. You'll take the drive home, and you'll probably calm down. You'll go back to the house and it'll almost feel like nothing has changed. You'll feel like "hey this isn't as hard as I thought it would be." You'll think you're handling it really well, and while you probably are...wait for it.

The first day or so you'll be really bored but not too depressed. You'll want to be alone but you wont be suffering like you thought you would be....but it'll hit you. One day, probably in the first week you'll have a break down. You'll have been waiting for a call and it takes longer than you thought, or you just cant stand the thought of not having to share the bed, or you'll trip over a pair of old boots and everything will come crashing down.
Let it. That's the one thing you'll learn. If you need to fall apart, don't try and stop it. The only way to pick up the pieces is to let them fall.

Once this happens, deployment is going to hurt. A little every day but you'll manage the pain. Stay busy. In the beginning, you'll feel helpless and like you've give anything to keep him from where he's going. But you can't. That's why we send care packages. Go to the store and throw your heart and soul into a care package.

We present care packages like we do it for them, but in all honesty, we do it for ourselves. We want to feel less helpless. Like we're in some way, in the only way, making their lives a little easier, the only way we can.

After the first 3 months you'll set yourself into a pseudo groove. You're used to the deployment by now and with 3 months under your belt, the next three will probably sail by like they never even happened. Before you know it you're 6 months down and only have half to go.

R&R: It's going to be amazing. You're going to have a hard time sharing him, but realize that this is his vacation and other people love and miss him too. realizing and accepting this will make it easier on everyone. He's going to have friends who he hasn't talked to since he left,want to hang out. Let them. That's what our loved ones do. They keep in touch with us and leave the friends for later, so don't hold it against them that they haven't been around. He hasn't let them. he's only made room enough for you in his deployed life.

The goodbye will be the most horrible day of your life and nothing will ever prepare you for it. It almost seems unfair, like there should be an in-between. Because here and gone isn't good enough. There's no slow goodbye, there's no easing into it. One second he's kissing you goodbye and the next you can't see him anymore and you know the next time you do will be in 6 months.

Cry. Scream. Do what you have to do because you need to get this out.

The deployment will be easier for the last half because you have something to look forward to and because at this point, you've done this before. But with the ease, you're going to run into arguments. You're both used to this and you're both tired of it. You're both trying to put on a
happy face but you're both miserable.

While one is comfortable with the situation, another will have a rough day and want some reassurance and the other wont have the energy for it. You'll both go back and forth with this and the arguments will suck. There will be mis-communications, jealousy, and simple frustration.
It's okay. Just figure out which battles don't need to be fought. if you're arguing because you've run out of things to talk about (don't act like this doesn't apply to you) Then give communication a rest for the day. I know it's hard because we think "if we don't talk and something happens I'll never forgive myself"....it'll be okay. Sometimes you just need some time to yourself and so does he.

The end of the deployment will be horrible. Sorry, I know that's not comforting but I'm not going to lie to you. It sucks. If it went by any slower it may actually go backwards, and that's honestly all I can tell you about the end. It sucks and that's normal, but you'll get through it.

And then they come home.